Sh*t They Don't Teach You In High School

Ok, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for not posting in a while. I have been way busy but whatever. 

So, here are real life things that they DON'T teach us in high school about REAL life...

1. You will NEVER use math with letters.

I have been graduated high school for 4 whole years now. And I have never been in a predicament where I need to use that shit. NEVER EVER. I truly believe the only occupation that you need to know it is teaching poor students that crap and in that case you are a sick individual who enjoys torturing people.

2. Your metabolism will slow WAY down.

You can not get away with eating a soft pretzel with extra cheese sauce, an Italian soda and a choco taco for lunch anymore. Your ass will get fat, your face will get fat and yes people will notice.

3. Your parents will ask you to pay rent.

To live in your childhood bedroom.

4. "Hot Guy"

That "Hot Guy" you were OBSESSED with in high school,the one you'd doodle about in your notebook, is now a huge douche. You will avoid him in public and secretly be so embarrassed you once wanted his nuts.

5. Interest, taxes and student loans.

Will kick you in the crouch and spit on your neck.

6. No one cares how many Ed Hardy tee shirts or Juicy zip ups you have.

No one.

7. People Change

One of your boyfriends will turn out to be gay. Think real hard....making sense, right?

8. Don't give your phone number to sales people.

Never give your phone number to a Mary Kay rep unless you  REALLY intend on buying some. Because they will call and call and call and call.     

And call.

9.You do not have a good sense of style.

Your first homecoming dress was ugly.

And so was your hair.

10. Don't drink that.

A Jack Daniels black cherry jello shot will make you want to kill yourself.

11. It REALLY sucks to be a woman.

You will eventually have to visit a gynecologist and when they say " I'm going to touch your ovaries now" they REALLY mean they are going TO TOUCH YOUR OVARIES. I prefer to drink a beer on an empty stomach before hand so I got a little bit of a buzz.

12. That's not real life.

If you were "lucky" enough to get something in your Senior Hall Of Fame, sweet, that's awesome...for 2 weeks, until you graduate then literally no one cares. You put "Best Walk" on a real life resume, I can GUARANTEE you you won't get the job.

13. Theres no such thing as "Kinda virgin"

Your friend tells you junior year " Well we like kinda like did it but like not really, so I'm still a virgin!" She lied. 

14. People are CRAZY.

You will NEVER hear a teacher tell they students this. Real shit. People are bat shit crazy.

And finally the MOST important.

15. Be yourself.

In high school I can honestly say I was not myself. I cared way to much what people thought of me. Everyday I am myself the more I love my life. And those people I cared about in high school can suck my big toe cause my life gets better everyday and you have nothing to do with it ;]

 I know there are way more but we will save those for another post.

'Til next time <3 Amanda.