I Want To Punch You In The Facebook

Okay, so this post is about all the stupid shit that bugs me on Facebook.

Ya, sure we are all guilty of putting some dumb stuff on the addictive, useless site but these are the things that drive me CRAAAAZY.

"I Don't Drink"

When someone tells me "Oh, yea I don't drink" and then the next weekend I see pictures of you shiny faced, cross eyed and barefoot on my news feed. Your right you totally don't drink. Thats kool-aid in your cup. Don't worry I look like that when I'm sober too. 

"Check Out My Muscles"

Checking into a gym is totally fine. Good for you,working out is a great hobby.But it's when you post pictures of yourself in the mirror IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GYM. I can see the people behind you judging. They think your a douche, and so do I. Put the phone down and go lift something, don't take pictures of how many calories you've burned either. 

"I Hate My Boyfriend!"

No one wants to read about how pissed you are that your boyfriend blew you off. Listen to a Taylor Swift song, no one cares.

"Bowel Movements/Cramps"

Seriously? Who the fuck raised you? Don't put that shit on Facebook, you Cave Man.

"Gravity and Bitches"

Have you ever noticed that when someone takes a picture with someone significantly shorter then them they squat down to that persons level? DON'T DO THIS. I am 4'11, odds are I am shorter then an 8th grader so I know from experience this is stupid. Stand up straight you moron.

"I'm Heeerrrreeee!"

STOP CHECKING IN TO EVERYWHERE YOU GO. You're going to be kidnapped eventually.

"Ditto"

It's really weird when you copy and paste my status word for word. I'll delete you mainly cause I'm creeped the fuck out. 

"I'm Am SOOO Mad At You"

When you post something about someone making you mad and they aren't even your "friend".

"Oh my gawd, I'm so pissed I haven't gotten child support from him in 4 months"

What's wrong with you? Don't put that on Facebook! Put your smartphone down, put your kid in the car, drive to that Mother Fuckers house, knock on the door and say "Hey mother fucker, I'm pissed at you. Condoms are cheaper then diapers. Give me some kid money"

DON'T just put it on your page and think all your problems will be magically solved.

"Look At How Healthy I Am"
Ok. There is no need to tell all your 'friends" on Facebook you are going on a diet and what it entails THEN take pictures of your grocery cart of all your "healthy" buys. Eating healthy is great but I'm going to read your stupid statuses while eating whatever the fuck I want and I am not going to believe what you say, you know why? Because in 4 days someones going to tag you in a "Check In" at Red Robin. And I am damn sure Red Robin doesn't serve "protein bar and a gatorade!"

" A Day In The Life Of Me, My Friends, My Family, My Dog, My Cousins New Baby, A Moment Frozen In Time By My Canon SD 1000, A Summer Camping Trip With My New Friends, Don't Judge The Life I Live Thru Gods Eyes Were All The Same, Throooooowwww Back Time, Wedding Events, Lil Bit O' Devil In Those Angel Eyes Christmas Cheer!"

Oh. My. Friggin. Gawd. Just Put "Summer 2012 Blame It On The Alcohol" and call it good. No need to name your photo albums long, stupid shit that make no sense.

And Lastly...




"I'm A Girl. Check Out My Boobs"
I do NOT know what is going on in America for girls to think its ok to get in you bikini walk into the bathroom and start snapping pics. Yes, if you are ON A BEACH where bikinis are pretty much required,totally fine. But we all know you ain't swimming in you bath tub after you take that picture. But who's knows? Maybe this trend will catch on, I'll get the fever and start taking pictures of my non existent cleavage. Pretty sure my body resembles Justin Beibers but "YOLO" right?

Ha yea right. Put some clothes on, take your tongue ring out and get a job.

And that my friends are my Facebook pet peeves.
Now, go delete your stupid shit :)
Just kidding.

'Til next time <3 Amanda

P.S A BIG BIG BIG thank you to all my loyal readers. You guys are AMAZING. I love to hear your feed back! Feel free to share the link. Love you all "MUAAAH!"